They call me a sax maniac – and I’m well known for my brass;
I’ve always got the horn – but I didn’t think you’d ask;
I’m known for my good conduct and my excellent composure;
But my impromptu movement is the source of my exposure.
I do adore the violin – I’m quite the virtuoso –
Not blowing my own trumpet – it’s just because I know so!
You’ll catch me playing with myself inside my studio,
Where a fiddle and a backing track become my one-man show. . .
But, I want to be a duo – could you be my perfect score?
(For fretting has a tendency to make my fingers sore)
Of course, I come with strings attached – why would I want a choir,
When I could have a soloist fulfilling my desire?
On your clarinet, my flutter-tongue will make you gasp for air,
As you flatter my acoustics, with your two sticks, on the snare.
Let your vocal range envelop me: we’ll have a sound discussion,
If my oral talents complement your excellent percussion.
Show me perfect pitch and I will show you perfect phrasing –
(Let us make our chamber music truly curtain-raising);
Starting with the Prelude, quickly rising to crescendo –
You’ll be singing A Capella (not diminuendo).
On a final note – (I’d like to keep this one staccato):
Whilst I’m into fusion, you must know that I’m Castrato.