Hell Hath No Fury
(a scented note, left on a dining room table)
Thank you for dumping me –
Have a nice life.
I’m glad I’m no longer your dutiful wife.
You said I was stupid – too foolish by far,
This dim little blonde
Set light to your car.
And ’cause I was bored – I thought I’d have a laugh:
I spray-painted your flat, cut your Y-fronts in half,
Put your whites in the wash with your red football shirt,
Which I spat upon, ripped-up, then dragged through the dirt.
Remember that photo of you in my frock?
I’ve made fifty copies – the Vicar’s in shock!
I’ve closed our account and spent most of the cash on
A stunning new wardrobe of haute-couture fashion.
What was left over, I spent on a lawyer;
Known to her clients as ‘The Dark Destroyer';
(She came recommended by Ivana Trump –
You know what happened when she got the hump).
And I’m sure your new squeeze will swiftly get rid o’ ya –
After she’s heard that you gave me Chlamydia.
Stunned? Well you shouldn’t be.
You have been warned:
Angelic I can be –
Until I am scorned.