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Nine Lead Balloons

Nine Lead Balloons

To say “you’ve got no bottle” to a bunch of alcoholics
Is like “You haven’t got the balls”,
To a man who’s got no bollocks.

“Pull yourself together”
To a schizo with psychosis,
Is like saying “break a leg”
When she’s got osteoporosis.

And “Shit happens” to a person
With an irritable arse
Is “chin up!” to Ten Ton Tessie
At a weight-watchers class.

Hence, “look on the bright side”
To a girl with a white stick
Is like saying “Keep your pecker up”
To a man without a dick.

So next time someone says to you,
“Cheer up, it could be worse”,
First, think of flying lead balloons
And then recite this verse.


© Theresa van Straten 2005 All Rights Reserved